Holmes and Fletcher Classic Cartoons
Enjoy classic country cartoons by Holmes and Fletcher.
Have a laugh on us!
"What are we waiting for? We're waiting for the boss to chew us out for not having the things done that he's fixing to tell us to do."
"No wonder that horse has a hard mouth, just look at the way he yanks on them reins!"
"Just pitch it in here amongst us and drag something out!"
"The way I got it figured, it will probably take us all summer to get these tanks cleaned out."
"You got any idea what that feed costs? We're not getting them ready for some futurity, we're just gonna chase some old cows around the pasture!"
"Now, I ain't going to call him a coward, but he's tearing down more fence than these cows are!"
"Say a $100 for the undertaker, about $75 for a box, and $10 for the preacher. Dog-gone-it, there goes a whole months wages."
"Now look you old bat, you don't get any water till you let us get a wrench!"
"Just grab your saddle and let's go. I know that market guy said to hold on to em, but that banker of mine said to ship 'em!"
"Well hurray! Everything is flooded, the barn washed away, 50 head of cattle are drowning…and you caught a 4 pound carp!"
"No, he ain't a professional streaker. He owns the feedlot."
"For Pete's sake, read to yourself. I can't even stand to look at it."
"He orta quit worrying about that $30 hat and start worrying about a $500 hospital bill."
"If Charlie would stop clowining around, these cattle might settle down."
"This may break him from bragging about swinging a big loop!"
"They need a couple of pickup men."
"Nope, I ain't worried about the coyotes, I'm trying to get my hands on that (?)&$:% horse!?
"We spend 2 days chasing these critters thru every creek bottom and mesquite thicket in this county and now you want how much shrink?"
"Charlie got 141, you got 139, and I got 149. That comes out to 143. By gosh, the count is right on the nose!"
"Gosh…a two-holer!" Sure must have been some rich people that built this place!"
"Forget about my horse! If you don't do something about this old cow the only thing I'll ever ride again will be a wheelchair!"
"Sure, trees in the yard will be nice, but I still think we should have spent the money on something them old cows could eat!"
"When you pay $5,000 for a pickup something orta float besides a bunch of empty beer bottles!"
"Call them dumb animals if you want, but you don't ever see these old cows following us around in this dust and heat."
"Charlie is a good natured fellow, but he's got this thing about horse flies!"
"Reckon you could haze him over towards where they parked the ambulance?"
"Why don't you just give him the sugar?"
"Maby her horns ain't even, but I hired on as a cowboy, not a blasted carpenter!"
"You still got that cinch that I thought was too expensive yesterday?"
"Every day we push these old cows up to the feed wagon… I'll bet it would be a week before anybody came hunting us if we didn't show up for dinner!"
"How come I got such good grass? Cause I ain't got enough credit left to buy any cattle - that's why I've got such good grass!"
"Well, I came by to aks about that mechanics job, but it looks like you need the mechanic worse than I need the job!"
"One hundred and forty three animals in one herd and you had to run over a thirteen thousand dollar, grand champion, bull."
"You lost the bet. I know that old horse couldn't throw him plub over he windmill."
"Actually, I'm loosing money on this promotion gimick, but my husband is a chiropractor and he thinks this is the greatest thing I've done!"
"Charlie, I'd trade you this slicker for your overshoes!"
"Then this government follow says we orta consider ourselves lucky to have a natural resource like 75 thousand prairie dogs!"
"Just sorta prop it up, if the boss finds out we can fix fence that's all we'll ever get to do around here!"
"This country aint as desolate as you think, why there's a windmill just about 14 miles right up this road."
"No wonder banks are in trouble, they didn't think my cow dog and pickup was enough collateral for a lousy little $20,000 loan!"
"You said you could ride anything we could put your saddle on!"
"Just come on down, I think I've figured out why it's not pumping any water!"
"…otherwise your cow seems all right. I think you need a carpenter worse than you need a vet!"
"If you're going by the pickup, would you bring me a new needle?"
"If there is a carpenter in the audience, will you please come to the bucking chutes?"
"Really ain't much to this cowboy stuff. You watch them buzzards and when they land you just go see if they are having beef for lunch."
"You gotta look at the bright side. If it wasn't snowing and 3°, the boss would be out here screaming at us."
"This may be one of them wet years, there's not but 2 inches of dust in the rain gauge!"
"She might weigh 750 … if all of the flies landed at the same time."
"They are both so awkward you can't tell if the horse is throwing a fit or Charlie is trying to get off and open the gate!"
"Sure I promised you a raise when feeder prices got high enough, but is it my fault they haven't reached $1.50 yet?"
"I hope you birds realize that it's cheaper to hire cowboys that can ride than it is to buy horses that don't pitch!"
"Hold your horses, I don't like to run around with my shoes untied!"
"Them economists come up with all sorts of theories, but we didn't have a mess like this until every teenager in America had to have four pairs of blue jeans!"
"Sure, this sitting around bugs me too, but when boots cost $150 you can't afford any unnecessary walking!"
"For Pete's sake, we can't sort cattle with you laying right in the middle of the gate!"
"Tell that nut with the hot shot to take a break!"
"I been meaning to tell you about that old cow."
"Did I clinch what nails?"
"If how many cattle we gathered is that important, why didn't one of you clowns shut the gate before you started fighting about the count?"
"I said she was used to eating out of a bucket, I didn't say she was gentle!"
"Lady, if you don't mind, we are using this barrel."
"Yea, we orta do something, but you know how mad the boss gets if we howler around his cattle."
"I guess I just don't understand this economic stuff. If we can feed 400 steers on credit, how come we can't buy 2 hamburgers on credit?"
"Looks like the boss is serious about fixing this place up. He left us a can of bug spray and some new cardboard for the windows."
"It seems like this old truck is getting more power all the time. I think it's from that new brand of gas we're using"
"I tried to tell you that old horse was thirsty!"
"It's not the cooking - if you insist on reading the markets before you eat, you're going to have a bad taste in your mouth every morning!"
"They make orthopedic shoes, orthopedic mattresses, orthopedic socks; why can't somebody come up with an orthopedic saddle?"
"$120,000 for a feedmill and you need an old inner tube and bailing wire to fix it?"
"I don't mind you clowns rustling my cattle, but your dang sure going to take this feed bill with them!"
"Sure I ride him with spurs, but I never had enough nerve to goose him with them!"
"I tried to tell you this tree wasn't big enough for both of us!"
"An besides, by the time you find a tree in this part of the country, the market could be up five dollars!"
"Well, he's probably mostly horse, but he eats like an elephant, snores like a moose, and runs sorta like a scared turtle!"
"You gotta admit, if we'd paid 20¢ less and feed had been $7 cheaper and the fat market was 24¢ higher this woul be the best set of steers we ever had!"
"Now that's what I call a barrier!"
"He ain't in trouble, he still has both stirrups."
"Get ready with them ropes boys. We got her this time!"
"Charlie, if we partnered on the yearlings, we wouldn't care whose grass they ate and we wouldn't have to fix all this blasted fence!"
"You said they would do better with the implants, so I didn't see any use in buying feed too!"
"I said you orta grease the walker, I didn't say you couldn't stop it for awhile!"
"Charlie here is a whiz with that Coke machine. Let's give him a shot at the thing."
"Nope, the saddle's straight… it's this blasted horse that's crooked!"
"Reckon you could do something with a little bit of the slack?"
"Now I've seen horses that could pitch, but this is the first time I've seen a cowboy throwed plumb away!"
"Oh, don't worry about it. You always have a few little parts left over after a big overhaul job."
"Ain't nothing funny about it… when that old cow gets mad she's going to cripple him and wreck the whole lot, and while he's all nice and cozy in the hospital, we'll be out here fixing the fence!"
"I reckon we'll have to go huse back. The boss took the pickup keys – he says the country can't afford to loose any more astronauts right now!"
"Well, I always wanted to be a (cough) cowboy so I could work outside in the (cough…gasp) fresh air."
"I tried to sign up in the P.I.K. program, but the government didn't include cactus or prairie dogs."
"Since it's Saturday afternoon, just dig the holes up to that windmill and then knock off early."
"Sure, I made a bundle on my calves – dang near enough to pay off last winter's feed bill!"
"Nope, I can't imagine what these steers would be worth fat, but I can imagine how rich that feed salesman would be by the time we got them fat!"
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