At last, the mystery of the Mayan calendar revealed.
Sleep on your side again?
Just exactly how committed are you to this whole "herbivore" thing?
Oh, not much, Carlos, just preparing for this afternoon's fight.
"Yes, I'm well aware that my noise is pierced, but those are different."
Brighten your day with some cartoons from Leigh Rubin, a contributor for BEEF magazine.
Perhaps Edna should have been more specific when placing her personal ad seeking "a big, strong, vegetarian, animal lover."
If the cow jumped over the moon today.
"She's adorable and she only weighs a quarter-pound?! What did you name her?" ... "Patty."
"You may be right, Martha....Maybe they are gettin' a little too domesticated."
"Study this chart, my young devotee, so that you may get to know your inner self."
"Well that does it. ...No more using our heads!"
"Goodness, Herb, you can't serve Chablis to our guest. You know perfectly well white wine doesn't go well with Beef!"
It was a tasteful centerpiece, much too tasteful for Maude to resist.
After the first few hundred times, the novelty of Abner's daily greeting began to wear thin.
Bernice discovers the pitfalls of procrastination.
"Oh dear, I think Harriet may have spent a bit too much time in the tanning booth."
"Really, Al, if you must make methane, please go into another room."
"Pardon me, my good man, but my friend here, Mr. Franklin, was wondering if you might be able to procure me a more desirable spot at the back of the line. …"
"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am ready to order. … If that little piggy can have the roast beef, then I can have the pork chops."
"I'm afraid, sir, that I'm going to have to cite you for failing to come to a complete whoa."
Free-range beef and how it gets that way.
"Cripes! You better spend a lot more time hitting the books. With grades like these, you'll end up being served by some pimply faced kid with a side of fries!"
Another downside of hoofs.
"… And here we are in Pamplona. That's where a couple of the boys were up all night after some bowls of bad chili. Poor guys gave a whole new meaning to the term 'running of the bulls.'"
"Take a hike, pal. This is the cattle car."
"There's nothing to worrry about, Maam. The walking, the talking, as welll as all the other human-like attributes you're experiencing, are simply symptoms of anthroporomorphism, a condition commonly found in many cartoon animals."
"For the last time, Junior. Stop blowing milk bubbles. You're giving me gas!"
"The next time we have a potluck, she can bring the dip and we'll supply the chips!"
"Today, Junior, we're going to learn about something called "target of opportunity.' "
In a world of "woulda, coulda, shoulda," an automatic rip cord release would have definitely been the way to go.
How come you never bring ME decorative vegetation?
"No, it's not organically grown, unprocessed gluten-free whole grain, but if you don't clean your plate, I guarantee that your father is going to all-naturally tan your hide."
Why, that's positively uncanny ... she knew I was from Texas, too!
...they slipped behind the barn and quickly removed each other's harnesses there. With nothing to rein them in, it would be a night of unbridled passion.
The special breed raised exclusively for McDonald's Happy Meal.